The story of 4 months…

Chapter 1

July

July came around so quickly, the winds of the season blowing away the pains that came from previous months. The tear filled birthday and questions of am I enough and why did he leave? Those tears now flowed in a river that God holds dear to His heart, while calling me to come up stream with Him.

A stream that bought be to a land full of temples, beautiful architecture, great food and smiley people. Although, I couldn’t help but wonder if this truly satisfied them. Gathered with other believers who live in this nation my heart grew with love for them and there heart for Taiwan, for people to turn to the One, instead of others with empty promises. Lord please strengthen these now friends as they live out Your mission in this land.

At home I find myself once again and the busy season begins. With my greatest hearts desire to walk alongside people while they get to know Christ for themselves, being met staffing the DTS once again, it meant that was time to start training. Last year’s journey taught me just how much I don’t know, oh how I need You more Lord. Along with them hearts of many others as we started the journey of letting go and letting God prepare our hearts. Within this same stream my heart for this generation in Korea not only blossomed, but was joined together with 3 other flowers growing towards the same light the Sun was bringing and so “Coming back” was born. A ministry no, but a desire to move as the Spirit guides. Encouragement . Fellowship. Relationship. Worship. Games. Christ. Simply put, going wherever God calls and connecting with people. We began to pray and seeks His heart in how to start and where to go. Stepping out with the desire to learn we put ourselves under the DTS leadership to learn how and then planned our first outreach for all the DTS staff.

Jeju and Daegu. Hearts full of joy as we fellowshipped with fellow peers in Jeju, bought to our knees as we worshipped together, unable to stand in His presence. In Daegu we took to the streets, pouring out our hearts through songs, worship, dance and a testimony that caused people to pick up the Word of God provided one the table at the front. Moved hearts, prayer on the streets, “Big God” proclaimed on the streets and sweet fellowship the next Sunday with two different churches who keep us close in their minds while praying. A beautiful week. Although the immense growing pains of a seed now breaking through the first parts of soil were felt. Can I really do this? How can I stand and support my leader? Is my input even valuable? Along with a doctor’s call that left me feeling isolated and unseen in the is path of trusting God with my health, came with a blow that left me winded and grasping for breath and a fresh start. To break away from these lies, rest knowing that mistakes happen to learn from them and let go of questions that were trying to pull me back into false humility. The pride of not seeing yourself how God sees you, a death I still have to die to often.

Growth truly can’t come without pain, but when did we decide that this pain is bad. Growing with God comes with joy and some of that joy does mean we have to experience dying to self, stepping into unknowns and the shedding of tears, but when I look upon that pain it’s coated in the goodness only God can bring. With hope that with Him, I can walk through this pain and come out the better for it. It’s with these thoughts, I sought God on how to die well to the lies that came up during outreach and He said start with a comb. Two days in bed and my locs were combed out, all the memories my hair once held were combed way and now I was left with a blank canvas, that I had to re-learn how to paint with God. A journey I’m not sure will ever end.

Chapter 2

August

Camp!!!

One country divided into two, broken promises, man making their kingdoms and lives being lived without knowing the gravitas of God’s heart longing for His people to be united once again, a heart He has given us here and so many others, North and South to be one once again. Children of parents who fled from the North, making that journey with their parents, being born in China or being born in the South after their parents made it to South Korea, this school is for some of those children. There are varying opinions about people from the North, hurts from the past and stories told from older generations, South Korea at times is not the warmest place for people who come from the North Korea, but here in this school they are free to learn and simply be children and young people. This too is the heart we had, when we were asked to do a camp for them the students before the start of their new school year; with an 11year old relationship that runs deep, we were excited to fellowship with the students once again. This camp was a time where we were able to see them play like children, for them learn more about God, hear other people’s testimonies and receive prayer as we worshipped God together. One student bringing us to tears as they proclaimed that they now know that Jesus loves them, just as they are! What joy to receive such news. May He continue to work in their hearts.

The camp ended and training continued, learning about what are DTS staffs and how we are called to stand with the students.

Chapter 3

September & October

The last kingdom impact seminar happened at the being of September, where we reminded of the fact we are a part of God’s bigger story and then all of a sudden… the end of September arrived. Deep cleaning, room changes, preparing for the students arrival. Lord am I ready for my one on one to come, will I be able to lead intercession and local outreach times well with others? Am I good enough to keep leading worship sessions? Will I be able to open my heart to the students during book sharing? Will my skin be okay? Will I be able to look after my health well, sleep well, eat well??? Last years physical challenges won’t be repeated right?? A multitude of questions and musings, a short trip to Osaka to breathe and then back, the day before the students arrive. There was just one thing… I couldn’t walk.

My arch on my right foot dropped. Oh the pain, wheeled through the airport onto the plane and off the plane, a trip to the hospital, medication in hand and a crutch under my arm… I was ready to meet the students.

Shy, nervous to be in a new place and unsure of what they stepped into the 12 students arrived, to screaming staffs with balloons and pom-poms in hand.

Orientation week, diving in deeper hearing everyone’s stories, what is DTS and who we are as YWAM Gadeok, the students were now ready to start there first official lecture. Father God’s Love, Hearing God’s Voice, Identity in Christ, Holy Spirit and Worship, these 6 weeks rolled by so quickly; each bringing new revelations, confirmation, joy and pains. The change in the students so far brings so much joy to our hearts, each of them has their own struggles and pain to work through with God, but watching their joy capacity increasing allows us to pray that from now on they can start practicing going through pain with God, knowing He is glad and takes joy being with them. To say the students have been the only ones learning would be a complete lie, in fact at times it felt as though we as staff were learning the most, myself being one of them. Learning how to let go once again, realising that I still had insecurities and facing that pain with God, learning how to receive and care for myself as God is working out slow, but oh so sweet healing and miracles in my life. After four weeks of medication and painkillers, I let go of the crutch and after another two weeks I looked down and realised God had completely healed my arch, an injury that takes 6-12 months to heal from, happened in 6 weeks! Trusting God with my heart and that right person will come along in His time, leaning into this time of Him showing me the kind of leader He has made me to be, pursuing friendship even when I wanted to run, through tears trusting Him to be Jireh and just stepping out each day as me. The Emanuela, who is not perfect and makes mistakes, who has fallen short time and time again, but still stands before the throne of Grace each time, humbly desiring to spend each moment in His presence. I am not perfect, but that’s okay, because He still calls me His own. I’m excited to keep growing with Him, Jesus is worthy of it all!